Book Review: Gender Queer

By Al Preston

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            For the first time, we’re reviewing a graphic book. It’s a non-fiction book, specifically, it is a memoir of its artist and author, Maia Kobabe.

            Graphic novels and comics can sometimes be the best medium to have particular conversations. The way visuals can invoke more empathy than the written word can make a memoir more impactful and easier to relate to. Gender in particular can be easier to visualize in drawings than in words alone.

            Gender Queer is about Kobabe’s story of gender and sexual discovery. Kobabe is a non-binary (pronouns are e/em/eir) person who struggled with eir gender, sex, and self. Eir memoir is an incredibly relatable story for anyone who has ever questioned their gender.

            For me, as someone who has found comfort in a male identity, but who also has a craving for gender ambiguity, Kobabe’s story was so easy to relate to. I’ll admit that there were times when I teared up as I read.

            It’s hard to talk about this book, as it only took a day for me to read it, if not a little over an hour, and there is less complicated wording to sort through. The beauty of a graphic novel is that so much can be explained in only a few panels but also an incredible amount of them would be necessary to fully explain complicated concepts.

            I adored the art and there are some pages that just drew me in. There was one image of Kobabe’s spiraling thoughts literally spiraling into the center of the page. I had to physically turn the book around and around in order to read everything and the fact that I had similar spiraling thoughts made it more powerful.

            To talk in depth about this book is to spoil it entirely and there is no way that I could create such a relatable story as Kobabe did. I can’t recommend the book enough. Like many memoirs or stories about gender, there are few answers that Kobabe can offer us.

            Gender is an experience and one that only each and every one of us can describe and explain for ourselves. Even if there are similar pieces of each other’s stories that we can identify with, our own journey with gender is unique to us.

            While I can identify with Kobabe’s asexual based struggles, my gender experiences are slightly different. I really understand and relate to Kobabe’s views of dating and sex. While I am happily married and have always wanted to be, my asexuality, which comes from multiple places, can be a horrible roadblock in romantic relationships. I have a startling lack of wants while my wife has far more. It’s difficult.

            If I didn’t have my lovely wife, I don’t think I would date anyone either. My wife understands me, understands my situation and never wants to push the issue. Other people aren’t so kind.

            Kobabe’s gender struggles are also very relatable, especially when it comes to eir’s difficulties with ems body. I can’t stand my own body, my dysphoria makes dealing with it rather discomforting and something that I try to avoid. Kobabe willfully trying to avoid pap smears is something I have also done (do not follow my lead! Take care of your body!). However, I feel euphoria when it comes to my masculine presentation while Kobabe simply desired an absence of gender.

            Now, I don’t want to dive much deeper into this book. It’s a very compelling read and I highly suggest anyone at all read it. To give a brief warning, there are some scenes of naked bodies. Not in a sexual light (except once or twice but it is only in a handful of panels on one or two pages), but it’s hard to not talk about gender and not depict the human body in some way.

            It’s a quick, powerful read and I hope you can find a bit of yourself in eirs story, just like I did.